A Contest Of Endurance
by pikachugirl2
Summary: Oneshot. Midna is convinced that Twili can do anything better than humans can, but can she hold her own against Link when he challenges her to a drinking contest? Rated T for some language and alchohol reference.


The young boy took another drink out of a keg that the bartender, Telma, had given him. There was music playing in the background, and the whole place was filled with conversation. His adventure was very tiring, and sometimes he needed all the relaxation he could get, even if it meant a night at a bar in Hyrule Castle Town. Suddenly a strange-looking creature appeared from his shadow and sat down in the seat next to him, crossing its legs and arms.

"Since when do you drink?"

"For a while now. I'm plenty old enough, and I've never gotten drunk once yet. Why are you here?"

"Well don't just sit there, order me one too!"

"Hang on now, Midna. Don't you think you're a bit too young to drink?"

The creature he called Midna shook his shoulders violently. "Have you forgotten already??? I'm only short because of Zant's curse! I'm the Twilight Princess, damnit!!!"

"Well that doesn't mean you can handle it…"

Midna sighed. "Link, we Twili can handle anything you throw at us. How do you think we were able to stand how annoying Zant was all this time?"

Link laughed. "You Twili can handle anything, huh?"

"Yeah, Twili are better than humans at just about everything that exists."

Link put his face inches from Midna's. "Wanna bet, little Twilight Princess?"

Midna glared at him with an evil smile on her face. "You're on, Mr. Hero. You name it, we do it, I win it."

"Alright then. I challenge you," Link took another drink out of his keg, "to a drinking contest."

Midna laughed. "Pssh, that's it? Weak. I can win that for sure. Your stomach is weaker than Armogohma's eye."

Link ordered another cup from Telma, then turned to Midna while he waited.

"You'll be surprised to know that back in Ordonia I was famous for having the toughest stomach in the village and was the best drinker."

Midna looked at her fingernails. "I told you, everyone in your village is an idiot. Anyway, what will you do if I win?"

"If you win, I get Telma to give you all the drinks you want for free."

Midna smirked. "Deal. But if you lose, you run around Castle Town in your underwear screaming "I'm a pretty unicorn!!!" while holding a spoon in each of your hands.

"Big deal, it won't happen because I'm gonna win."

By now a small crowd had gathered around the two heroes. Telma overheard the conversation and was smirking, preparing a ton of drinks for the two of them. Midna and Link glared at each other fiercely.

"Hope you've got a bucket, Mr. Hero, 'cause you're gonna need one by the time this is over."

"I hope you Twili know how to get your stomach pumped. Should I call the ambulance in advance, little girl?"

"That does it." Midna took a keg from Telma. Link took one as well. Telma raised her hands and lowered them quickly, signaling for the two to start. Ilia, who was on the other side of the room, sighed as the two began to chug the drinks down as fast as they could. She turned to Auru, who was sitting next to her.

"Some hero, challenging his friend to a drinking contest. Boys can be so obnoxious sometimes. And Midna…I didn't even know she drank."

Auru sighed as well. "Well, he has worked very hard to save people. He needs a night to himself, and if this is how he spends it, that's alright with me."

Ilia put her face in her hands. "You think he'd spend it fishing in Lake Hylia or something."

No one could tell who was winning. The two heroes ignored the frantic cheering of the crowd and drank as quickly as they could. Neither one seemed to be giving an inch. Telma smiled. This was going to be interesting. Link spoke in between drinking each keg, as did Midna.

"So-(drink)-Midna, you-(drink)-starting to get-(drink)-overwhelmed yet?"

"I-(drink)-should be asking-(drink)-you the-(drink)-same thing!"

Link was starting to feel a little dizzy, but he wouldn't admit it. Midna felt a little sick, but she wouldn't admit it either. Ilia knew this wouldn't end well.

Telma noticed that both of them were slowing down a bit in their drinking.

"Are you two sure you don't want to stop and call it a tie? You both don't look so good."

Ignoring what she'd just said, Telma kept filling the kegs anyway and handing them to the two heroes. Both of them spoke in between drinks again.

"No!-(drink)-I wanna prove-(drink)-that Twili-(drink)-are better!"

"Don't get-(drink)-overly confident-(drink)-Midna."

Link's vision was starting to blur, and he could barely hold his head up. Midna felt ready to explode.

Then something happened that made everyone gasp.

Link and Midna both slammed their kegs down on the table. Midna and Link both staggered towards the bathrooms. Everyone heard loud vomiting noises almost immediately from both bathrooms. Ilia sighed again. Auru shook his head. Telma laughed, and everyone else cheered. Telma stood up.

"I declare the contest a tie between Link and Midna!"

Link staggered out of the bathroom, leaning against the wall for support. "I…object…I won…"

Midna followed him out, holding her stomach and looking as sick as a wolf. "No…he's lying…I…I won…Twili triumphed…"

Telma smirked at the two. Link was obviously drunk and Midna couldn't take all of the drinking.

"Alright, I'll make a deal with you. Whichever one of you drinks the next cup will win."

Midna gasped and held her stomach tighter. "Don't ever say drink again."

Link was staggering through the crowd. Ilia went over to him, and he leaned against her for support.

"Link…you're drunk. I knew this was a bad idea."

"No…let me go, Epona…I have to save Ganondorf and defeat Zelda…I fixed the Twilight Of Mirror…hehe…Zant is crazy…"

Midna would've laughed at the boy if she hadn't felt so awful at the time. Ilia smirked at the realization of something.

"Well, since you both tied, looks like you both lost the bets…"

Link was blushing as he ran past the stores and people in his underwear, carrying two spoons. "I'm a pretty unicorn, I'm a pretty unicorn, I'm a pretty unicorn…" _Damn Twilight Princess, making me do this._

The townspeople laughed. He wished desperately he could turn into a wolf and scare these people to death, which he'd have to remember to do later. Midna watched from the window of a bar, her stomach still aching from the night before. Telma had to almost force her to drink. Midna felt sick, but she lost the bet, so she had to drink. Midna, holding a keg, turned to Ilia, who was laughing at Link.

"Hey Ilia, I think I know the moral of all this…"

"That drinking is wrong? Or maybe that everyone's good at something, but no one's good at everything?"

"No, that you need to be creative when you place a bet, because a girl drinking her heart out at a bar isn't nearly as entertaining as watching a hero with pride and honor practically streak through the town with spoons screaming that he's a pretty unicorn."


End file.
